embracing, empowering and enlightening in love . . .
Let me say that i have been doing inner child work and those around me have as well. I went through a recent emotional trauma that was really a trigger from my childhood experience. I knew that my emotion was way out of proportion to the event that triggered it, so I had to explore and get to the bottom of this inner conflict.
I had been feeling that a close friend was, on the surface, communicating in a friendly open way and the undercurrent that my inner child picked up was different. It was a close friend who felt my vibrational wavelength had shifted and we were not in sync anymore. Usually this is not a problem, but I am the one who drifts away and I see how others have been hurt by me. I am not the one leaving so I felt abandoned and I felt this huge rift between the surface appearance (being ignored) and the words of the friend (friendly). It was very much like my child experienced growing up. There is the parent who has a temper and is critical and the child guesses what is going on and walks in uncertainty as to what it is, but is sure that something is off. They think they did something wrong. They blame themselves for doing something wrong and feel unworthy of love. I had thought I had licked this approval program and this experience took me closer to finally dismantling it.
The other part that I mentioned was the incongruence in a family of what is felt by the inner child and what is said by the parents and taken as truth. There is this whole world underneath the official consensus reality. Guessing what that was and stepping in a way that coped with it in my dysfunctional family gave me the psychic gifts that for now. I am grateful for my guardian angels soothing me which I know they did when I felt this discord.
It mirrors the same kind of discord that many lightworkers have now. We see what is the consensus reality on T.V. and the news and in schools and government. Yet we have the uneasy feeling that reality is really the opposite, completely different and in fact what we see is a lie. We can't quite place our finger on exactly what reality is and are uncertain, but know something is up. Our soul calls us to speak our truth and also our inner child calls us to have our truth be heard.
In working with this inside, I discovered that there is the inner child that needs to be brought to the table. It needs to have a voice about how it feels when upset, and when it is heard and allowed a voice and witnessed by the self, it shuts up and feels soothed, and the entire self feels better. I am new in this community, and I imagine you are ahead of me in these realizations. That is why it is upsetting for many of us to see what is really happening in the world. It goes back to that wounding of seeing truth and not being heard or having a safe space to speak it.
Also, there is another person at the table, the round table for discussions and emotional expression, that lies within. Also at this table, sits the current now adult self and the self that gives me a comfort when I see through his/her eyes. That self is the eternal soul. The eternal soul sees life as a long endless stream of experience and learning. I could see how my Self (capital S Self as this is a larger me that has always been and will always be) looks at each experience, even the hard ones as blips in the stream of existence. When I think of my distress in the moment, I feel how the eternal soul Self sees it and it doesn't blink and eye or react. It is an instant melting into what is.
That was the gift this experience with my friend turned out to be. As soon as I came to understand the whole scenario and felt balanced again, and saw the purpose, she called me. You gotta laugh when all is for my learning and expansion and growth, and it feels like growth is toward embodying the eternal soul's perspective yet integrated with the other selves, including the inner child and her feelings.
~thank you for reading~
~thank you for warmly welcoming me to this community which feels wonderful~